September 2, 2009

Adoption Tidbits

First things first - no news on the adoption front. I can't believe it's already been 2 weeks since we submitted our life book...time is flying by! I was sure it had only been a week, but then I noticed my handy-dandy little ticker in my sidebar proclaiming otherwise. Hopefully our time during the wait will continue on this path (of going by fast!). I have such a peace and have not been anxious wondering when it will happen - which is definitely an answered prayer!

Several people have asked me if I'm going to call our agency every so often to see if we've been profiled. We do not plan to do so, simply for the fact that we feel we have nothing personally to gain from that knowledge. If we were profiled and the birthmother didn't select us, then we weren't the right fit. Nothing more, nothing less. Someone asked me how I can feel that way, and I would say it's basically because I feel our life book accurately portrays us. We are who we are, and we cannot and will not change that to sell ourselves to a birthmom.

Our prayer has been this - that when our birthmother sees our book, she will feel such a peace and know that we are the family for her. Whether she has a relationship with the Lord or not is irrelevant, because we do and we have been interceding on her behalf. I pray for her so often and that she would just feel the love of God so strongly that if she doesn't have a relationship with Him, that a desire to do so would be stirred within her.

Someone else I talked to was adamant that we should call and check on if our profile was shown to hold our agency accountable. However, that is absolutely not necessary in our case as our agency is phenomenal and I have 110% faith in everything they do. Unfortunately I know this is not the case with all agencies, but we were extremely blessed to find such an amazing non-profit agency who has a desire to minister to the birthmoms in wonderful ways, and I have no doubt that they will show us if we meet the birthmother's requested criteria.

Moving right true Sarah fashion, I'm taking things to the extreme and am going to give adoptive breastfeeding a shot. Say WHAT?! I know; I never knew it was possible either. But apparently it is, though there are varied levels of success depending on what protocol you follow. I am hoping that I am able to at least get 50% of my milk supply through nursing. Aside from the obvious benefits of breastfeeding the baby, I think it will really help with us bonding.

So I'm ordering all the paraphenelia supplies this week and hope to get started soon. It is a bit overwhelming, so I'm glad that my friend Kellie is going to do this along with me! The preferred protocol takes about 6 months to build your supply. Kellie is really close to having a match (or 3!) and with the birthmother's due date(s), this timing works perfectly for her. Obviously we haven't been picked yet so I don't know what kind of timeline I'm working with, but I figure worst case scenario is I have a milk supply and I start pumping and storing! It's unlikely that I would produce that much, but you never know. I'm sure I will have stories for days about this adventure alone, so stay tuned! Any adoptive momma's out there who have breastfed? Or tried? :)


  1. I agree with you on not wanting to know when your profile had been shown to a potential expecting mom. Our agency didn't tell us and we didn't ask either - that would just add to the stress already and create unwanted anxiety of wondering if she is going to pick you, liked your profile and whatnot - so I think its a wise choice not to know each time you are shown - you are right when your criteria matches what an expecting mom is looking for your profile will be shown and if she is interested in meeting you will be notitifed immediately!!

    Sorry no help with the BF...I have heard of it and you should be able to find some info online about it -I wish you lots of luck with it!!!!

  2. All sounds good and I am so proud of you for trying the BF thing:) By the time we had Mist it was to late for me to try! Are you liking this Oklahoma weather?!?!

  3. Oh that's wonderful that you are going to be breastfeeding! I talked to Melissa about it and got all the info and the next week we got the call, so I wasn't able to do it. I probably still could have, but I was so overwhelmed and could barely think straight so I knew it wouldn't have been possible! Please keep us posted on this because I'm really curious about it all!

  4. I didn't know that adoptive parent could breast feed - how awesome! Definitely worth a shot. We had looked into adoption quite a bit - but never heard that tidbit. I wish you and your friend the best in your efforts.

  5. I had a friend who adopted who did this and I think it will be great for you and the baby!! Good luck - hope it goes smoothly!!

  6. I have heard of this, and I know of another adoptive parent who did it successfully.... I didn't do it, mostly because we didn't know when we would get matched, and bf-ing takes an emotional toll on me-- I didn't want to be pumping for nothing!

    PS: bf-ing HURTS! Nobody told me this when I had the AC, and I was convinced I was doing it wrong. Keep at it and the pain eventually goes away! GOOD LUCK!

  7. Hey Sarah,

    Just a heads-up. When I mentioned trying to decide whether or not to BF to someone at my agency, they gently reminded me that sometimes birthmoms can get really upset by the idea of the adoptive moms filling that role that they feel should only belong to them. It's really a personal issue and some birthmoms don't care and some really want you to try, but... just so that you're sensitive to that. it was something i wouldnt' have even thought of.

  8. It's so nice to hear that the time is quickly passing! I hope it continues this way!

    You have such a great heart! Your baby is just going to adore you! ;)

  9. In my case it is pure curiosity. It helps me to know that there are birthmom's looking.

    And the questionaire for different disabilities and things that we would "Accept" were kind of general so, we said that 'We would" consider based on the specific condition...and then there are the cases that are just so random that my caseworker wants to tell me about. So, I know about 15% of the cases that are looked at before we're viewed. Which isn't a lot. But even more than my curiosity is my desire to pray for the women who are looking at us. So, while it is indeed difficult to know when we're being shown, I feel like I am doing something helpful for them.

    Regardless of your desire to know or not, you have to do what is right for you and I am very glad that you are confident in your profile book. I'm sure that it does exactly what you want it to do and will lead you to the perfect bmom for you and your family.

    But never feel like you have to stick to your decision on this, if curiosity is killing you, just ask. You don't have to know every month, quarter or whatever. If you trust your agency ask when you feel like you want to! :D Or not!

    I looked into the breastfeeding thing and wanted to do it for awhile, but then I got to thinking about how much equipment would be required...and that Jer will want to bond with the baby at feeding times to, and decided that unless I am miraculously supplied with a lactation that will do well with out supplimentation, I won't be breast feeding. But I do know a woman who did it and she was very happy with it.

    Good luck with everything and I'll be praying for you and your hubby!

  10. I am so excited for you! I think it's such a blessing that you have such a peace about this whole process. Kuddos to you for wanting to breastfeed! I think that's awesome. Good luck!!

  11. Wow, I am beginning to wonder if the hardest part of this journey is putting up with and listening to everyone's opionions, questions and comments on what "they" think you should do!

    I agree with you on what you said in your post today! The Lord is leading the way and that is the only Leader you need.

    Good Luck, with the breastfeeding journey! I hope it works out for you.

    Love ya,

  12. I totally tried the adoptive brestfeeding! Ok I tried the whole producing milk part at least!

    YOu know there is multiple ways to achieve milk, and one of them being taking certain hormaones BCP and what not...I didn't wanna do that one only because we are forever actively TTC...

    So I just went with the slower method of pump constantly...I mean constantly...I had a GREAT really strong pump, got a nursing bra to help and pumped religiously every 2 hours for days...

    I'm ashamed to say I just couldn't do it. I felt like I was restricted to my house cuz I Needed to be pumping, it was rather uncomfortable for me too, hubby had to stay away if you know what i mean!

    BUT I so wish I could have done it and stuck with it so I totally commend you for doing it! I think it is such a wonderful selfless act!

    My trade off will be making our own baby food :)

    I didn't know Kellie was going to do it too! Thats exciting and I always heard that you should start super early cuz it takes time so you will be perfect and how you said if anything you can store!!!

  13. Continuing to pray for you guys, your sweet baby will be here before you know it!! So excited for you and can't wait to meet your baby!

  14. I can't believe that you may be able to breastfeed...that is absolutely amazing!!!! What a wonderful experience for YOU and your baby! :)

  15. You have such a great attitude! I love reading your blog!

  16. I've had 2 different experiences regarding the knowing and not knowing when our profiles were shown...I definitely like the not knowing. But I did check in about once a month with our facilitator...more to be a squeaky wheel! Not that it really achieved much...we were matched through our consultant. I thought I knew when the emom was going to be shown our profile, and I didn't enjoy the feeling of knowing. Anyway, you have to do what's right for you and it sounds like you are! Good for you for planning on bf'ing!

  17. I just want you to know (you already do) that you do not have to stand over your agency. They are not bringing you a baby...God is. And as I told Kellie earlier...His plans cannot be thwarted!

    Let me know if you have any specific adoptive bf questions...

  18. I admire your faith and agree with everything you said - when it's right, He will let you know.

    Good luck with the BF - what a neat thing to do.

  19. thats so interesting about breastfeeding I never knew that you could breastfeed if you didnt have the baby. I would love to learn more:)

  20. Wow! I'm really interested to know about your journey with adoptive breastfeeding. I hope you share it with us.

  21. you rock. Stay the course and do what makes you happy!
    Excited to try this breastfeeding thing, though I'm mega nervous! I guess we'll see how it all works out soon enough!

  22. what a beautiful post :)

    i am so impressed by your decision to nurse your baby -- contact the La Leche League when the time is ripe, because they will have some incredible tips for you :)

  23. I don't think I'd want to know when your profile is looked at either... I think it'd be way too up and down emotion-wise for me. I think it's neat you're going to try breast-feeding!

  24. I don't blame you for not wanting to check on your profile all the time. Thinking about you as you wait. :-D

  25. I admire your strength and faith and love your positive attitude. :)

    I don't have any advice on adoptive breastfeeding. It's the first time I've every heard about it - but wishing you the best and keeping you in my prayers. You're going to be an awesome mom.


  26. You have a great attitude and a gracious heart. Never knew about breastfeeding this way. How interesting and amazing. There is a birth mother out there right now who has no idea that her dream family is waiting for that little baby. What a blessing you are.

  27. You will be such a great mom! I would be the same way with not knowing. Otherwise, I would drive myself crazy. I am a true believer in letting God take control and everything happening for a reason. I know sharing your journey will be so helpful for so many people.

  28. How lucky this baby is going to be, getting a family and a wonderful mommy like you!

  29. I have known a few that have BF and they had no problems at all. I remember those days of having a ticker and counting the days that we turned in our Life Book and how many times you wonder that the book is being shown. Trust me, it is so much better not knowing. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you and knowing that when it is in God's time, your baby will come
    by the way, our DD was born in OK. What a small world

  30. Okay, I'm sorry-I misunderstood your ticker up there (and still am a little confused), but I'm happy for you nonetheless that you have made it over some of the big hurdles.

    As for the breastfeeding, I am so happy for you to have made that decision. If it's possible, I say go for it!! I'm so happy for you and for your future children. You're going to be an amazing mom :)

  31. You are teaching me so much. Even though we havent started trying our hearts have been open to adoption from the start. Can't wait to hear what happens through this journey!


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