September 13, 2012

It Started with a Picture

Before I go to bed each night, I have the habit of going in to check on Manny. Not so much out of concern that something's wrong, but rather just to take a look at his sweet sleeping face and to cover him with a blanket if he seems cold. So last night I went in, just like any other night, and upon shining my cell phone on him, noticed he was wearing his fedora. I laughed to myself while taking a picture and just thought, "this kid is too much." Patrick had put him to bed while I was putting Maeva down, so I'm assuming Manny must've convinced him to let him wear it to bed. Sure, it's not the first time, and I highly doubt it will be the last. But for some reason, something about this cute little boy laying in his crib in his fedora struck me.

As I looked down at him, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I just started sobbing. This was my son. My baby I was never supposed to have, sleeping peacefully in his crib (in a fedora) at almost 2.5 years old. If you told me I'd be where I am 3.5 years ago? I never would've believed you. And the thing is - I never want to forget that place I came from. Sure, I want to let go of the hurt and disappointment that came with that season. But the Lord delivered us from that brokenness and has built us a beautiful family. I always want the feeling of seeing the Lord work in our lives to remain fresh in my heart. And I never want to forget the miracle that Manny is, or take for granted that he made me a momma. And Maeva too. When you get busy with life and mothering, it's easy to forget those dark days where you wondered if you ever even would be called mommy. And while it's a distant memory now, it still holds a special place in my heart that, at times I least expect, is brought to the forefront. It's then that I'm reminded that part of my story, is sharing my story. Because if it gives hope or encourages just one person, that's all that matters.

I know this is a pretty emo post, but for some reason, I just felt like sharing my heart today. And encouraging those of you that are still waiting for your miracle - keep believing..."For nothing is impossible with God." If you are in a season of waiting, I would love to be praying for you. You can leave me a comment, or if you feel more comfortable, you can send me an email. (my address is on the contact page.)
Though we don't always know or understand His plans, I do know that if you seek Him, He will carry you through it all. And I couldn't be more thankful for the place He has carried me to. :)

25 comments:

  1. I don't find it emo at all, I find it beautiful :) love you and your heart, friend!

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  2. I love this so much!! So beautiful and your children are sooo very blessed to call you mommy!!!

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  3. I can't remember if I already asked you this.... do you ever think about starting your adoption journey up again? I think about it a lot, for me. I already feel so blessed, but sometimes I think maybe just one more...


    ... but I don't think my husband would be able to handle another one!

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  4. I find myself looking at my oldest & feeling the same way, too. It took us almost 9 years to have him. Now, just like you, I have a second sweet angel. :)
    It's amazing what God can do! :)

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  5. I LOVE this post and so feel the same way about my Rhetty! He was sitting in my lap (a rare occurrence these days) when I was reading this, and I just had to put down the iPad and love on him for a minute.

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  6. I loved your post. We waited 5 years for Jake. We have been praying for another miracle since then. He is now 8 years old. We lost an adoption 2 years ago. I never dreamed of it hurting like it did. We are about to start the adoption process again. We both have gotten so many signs fro God that this is what he wants us to do. I am nervous as we go down this road again, but I know He will be there each step of the way.

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  7. Not an EMO post at all! I can tell you simply adore and love your kids so very much :) I just love that he was wearing a fedora to bed! Both of your kiddos are way too cute - God is GOOD!!

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  8. one of my most favorite verses in the bible is 2 samuel 7:18 - "Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?"
    i feel that way so often....that i can look at my life and where we are now and where we've come from and just be in awe of God. amazingly and unbelievably blessed that he would bring ME this far. love this post, sarah! and love that sweet boy sleeping (in his fedora) :)

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  9. Love this post!Look at the beautiful children today..such a blessed family.

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  10. Beautiful post. After struggling ourselves to get pregnant I find myself at random moments being struck all over again with awe that "this is MY child." Thank you for sharing your story.

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  11. This is such a beautiful post and provides so much hope to people {like me} who are trying to start their own family! Thanks for sharing!

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  12. Great post. We didn't have any infertility struggles but reading about others makes me so thankful for the easy road we had. Your kids are adorable. Are the kids shirts another SheSheMade product? So cute!

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  13. Beautiful post, Sarah. I love your heart, and your kiddos :)

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  14. I cannot thank you enough for this special post!

    My little girl is 5 months old and just this week I was saying the exact same thing - how we blessed we are with this little miracle when so many in the world are struggling to fall pregnant, have tough pregnancies or sickly babies.

    I have sent the link to this post to 2 special friends who may just receive a glimmer of hope from reading your success story!

    Thank you x

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  15. Beautiful Post!! Your babies are such blessings! I just can't get over how darn cute Manny is!!

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  16. Love your sweet heart, friend!!!!

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  17. Love, love, love the picture of him sleeping with his hat on!!!

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  18. What precious little blessings! I love hearing about God's miracles and timing! I was in the middle of texting a friend about how we are sending baby prayers for each other while reading this...gave me chills!

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  19. Yes mama! you said it all so well :) Those babies sure are beautiful blessings.

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  20. Thank you for this reminder! We haven't struggled with infertility, but I did struggle with waiting for the right man to come along. There were times when I wondered if it was in God's plan for me to be a wife and mommy. I didn't meet my husband until I was 33, which now doesn't sound so bad. =) Now we have a sweet 20 month old daughter and another one on the way (exactly 2 years apart like your two!). It is such a joy to hear her say "Mama"! We are so blessed.

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  21. Loved this post. What sweet blessings these babies are!!!

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  22. What a beautiful post. I just read it twice. Thank you for sharing. You are truly a blessing to many.
    -Sara

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  23. Thank you for writing this. It brings me a lot of hope. I am dealing with infertility and just went through a miscarriage in July at 10 weeks. As heartbreaking as it all is, I have lots hope through stories like yours. Thank you again for sharing! Your babies are absolutely adorable!

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  24. So I finally read this post. There is nothing emo about this post, it is so sweet and such a huge part of your testimony and faithfulness to God. What an encouragement you are to others!! Love this!

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